There are always the mortifying mommy moments, like when your kid licks someone in line at Wal-Mart. Yes, a total stranger. On the arm.

Then there are the proud mommy moments. Like when your kid jumps in the car and declares “Its the best day of my life!” because his first Scholastic book order came.

That same day, I had a second proud moment:

Robbie: “Do you like my drawing [of Bumblebee]?”
Me: “Yes, you’re drawing has gotten so much better so fast since we stopped watching so much tv…..though that reminds me….I guess it is Friday….I should mention you can watch tv today if you want to…”
Robbie: “Naaa. I just want to DRAW PICTURES!”

And he did.

Once upon a time, Robbie didn’t really care much for TV. Then he started to care and, seemingly overnight, he started caring way too much. Getting him to clean up his toys? A fight. Getting him to leave the house with us? A fight. Getting him to stop watching that irritating cartoon already? A fight. Getting the remote back so we could watch something not animated? Armageddon.

We tried limiting television of course. You guessed it. A fight.

Finally one day we had enough and we put a total ban on TV.

And, quite shockingly, there was no fight.

All that fighting and then when we just pulled the plug totally, he remembered he had toys. And friends. And books. And crayons.

The timing was eerie. About a week later he was accepted to a charter school that, among other things, requests a “screen free” school week at home.

We’ve made it through five weeks TV free (he got weekends back when school started) and he’s only asked to watch tv twice during the week. I’m still in shock.

But even better, he has more time for moments like these:

I haven’t been writing here much since Layla came home. The first month we were all just trying to survive. It seemed like if her eyes were open, she wouldn’t be happy without a nipple of some kind in her mouth. Sleep was scarce and free time even more so.

The phrase “What the heck were we thinking?” may have been uttered more than once. How could two people of sound mind have so utterly forgotten what it’s like to have a newborn?

The second month she started smiling. Then what little free time we had was spent acting like deranged monkeys as we all tried to induce a smile.

We’re now in the third month. There’s been a bit more time for things like starting to run again, posting photos on facebook and I even got one solid hour in my hobby room.

We just might make it.

Toby really doesn’t blog but I sometimes wish he did. If he did, I would encourage him to write a post about how to be a “the perfect man” when your wife is having a baby. It’s a high art he’s managed to master with very little experience. I doubt Jim-Bob Duggar is as good at playing this role and he’s had 19 chances to top himself.

Since Toby doesn’t blog, I’ll just have to outline what he does so well so that others may learn. Expecting? Feel free to print and put this on your fridge as a subtle nudge to your husband.

Make Her Laugh: Toby is a tough guy about many things but one of his points of squeamishness related to watching someone else undergo any kind of medical procedure. We don’t watch those surgery shows on the health channel.When Toby stood up during the c-section to try to walk over to the warmer to get a look at the baby, he immediately had to sit down – hard. He’d accidentally seen “behind the curtain” and was very woozy. Giggling at your husband is a great cure for your own anxiety.

Be the Entertainment and Dining Committee. We were a little better prepared for hospital living this time (we actually packed) but nothing can change the fact that hospitals are boring and have mediocre food. Toby rented movies, brought his iPad, and delivered food from some of my favorite places around town so that we got a treat from hospital fare each day.

Stick Around. Toby elected to stay with me in the hospital the entire time. They do provide a bed (read: mid-evil torture rack) for a guest but it aint pretty if you have back problems. It was great having him there to handle all the things I could not get out of bed to do. It was also great to have a little break for 2-3 hours each day so that I could sleep, have the baby to myself, and watch TLC. Combined with the entertainment and treats, it was a bit like a mini vacation – at a resort where all the attractions are closed because of a natural disaster. Oh, and you’ve been gut shot just before checking in.

Get Out Your Rubber Gloves. If your wife is as neurotic as I am, she will not be able to “sleep when baby sleeps” while the house is messy. And nothing messes up your house like a baby. Toby cleaned the whole house the night before we went to the hospital then cleaned again and again for the the next three days after we got home.

Step Outside Your Comfort Zone. We’ve been married over 9 years and my husband does not do laundry. He does many things, but not that. It’s been a law in our house ever since he dyed an entire batch of clothes hunter green by washing them with a handmade rug. (An expert move on his part, since it has earned him nine years of laundry free living.) However, when we got back from the hospital he must have done 8 or 9 loads of laundry in one day and he didn’t shrink or dye anything. To show my appreciation, I will go back to pretending he cannot do laundry.

Give Props - Repeatedly. While doing said laundry, Toby was good enough to say “I’m so sorry. I had no idea how much laundry we make and how much work it is!”

When the drugs wore off and I could use my phone to tinker on facebook, I saw a bunch of gems like this:

Nothing Says “I appreciate your sacrifice” like jewelry. If a survey of my friends is accurate, I have one of the few husbands on earth that is good at giving jewelry – and giving it at appropriate times (save it for happy occasions, not for apologies, gentlemen!). When we got home, Toby gave Robbie a necklace to give to me – with a blue stone and a pink stone.

I’m incredibly lucky.

We started with the best of intentions. Keep it simple. Use what we had. Really.

Then we realized our crib was now considered a death trap by the consumer protection agency. We set about trying to find another. Then we recalled all our second hand furniture never had matched the white dresser – the one piece we purchased new. So  maybe a crib and a changing table? And that heirloom rocking chair we used for Robbie was lovely – but made for someone a few inches taller. I’d never been able to reach the floor in it.

We aren’t the first or last to tumble down this slippery slope but we did learn a lot along the way.

Lesson #1: Any sort of project involving a lot of molding will test the strength of your marriage.

I got this “board & batten” wall treatment idea from a very cute blog called House of Smiths. See the full tutorial here.  While I poured over the whole article, Toby merely gave it a quick glance over my shoulder and mumbled something like “yeah ok…going to Home Depot”. The rest of this phase of the project involved a lot of cursing (him), crying (him – ok, not really) and helpful statements like “but the tutorial said to just…” (me, naturally).

I think it turned out beautifully – even if Toby won’t admit it. He spent the first few weeks after it was complete shaking his head and saying “I’m a lousy carpenter”.

Tissue paper flowers: purchased on Etsy
Owl doll: made from scraps (me)
Wall illustrations: drawn on paper, scanned and digitally colored (me)

Lesson 2: Sewing well is about patience, not skill.

I’ve always liked the idea of sewing but my projects were sporadic and mostly limited to hemming my already petite size pants to fit my extra petite length legs. I don’t know if it’s age or coincidence but I finally seem to have figured one or two things out about sewing and the most important one is this: No matter how irritating it is, it’s easier to unpick and resew than spend the next three years being irritated with the final result every time you see it.

I sewed the crib skirt and curtains shown above and I’m not too modest to say this is my best sewing ever. Not because the project was tricky – it wasn’t. But I was very careful and methodical in all my pressing and finishing of seams. The end result is that I am very pleased every time I walk into the room. The unpicking was worth it.

Clockwise from left:
The dresser (or the culprit that led to the spending spree).
Acrylic mirrors at crawling and toddler heights.
Hair bows courtesy of my dear friend Megan. She’s teaching me to make them and will one day teach me her ninja hair styling skills for squirmy children.
Baby dress from my other dear friend Kim. My brother is getting married in August and, unless she’s very large or small, this is what baby will be wearing.

Boppy cover, mini Boppy and swaddling cloth.

Lesson 3: Sometimes a big mistake can turn into a great idea.

Remember that lesson about sewing success being directly linked to patience? I had not figured that out yet when I tried to make my own Boppy cover to put over Robbie’s old blue Boppy. I got hasty and followed a bad online tutorial and the result was a cover far too small to fit my pillow. No amount of unpicking was going to make it larger, so instead I just stuffed it and sewed it shut before going back to the drawing board and making my own pattern.

End result: Robbie is beyond thrilled to have his own pillow for holding the baby. He likes to show it off to anyone who wants to see the baby’s room.

More hand drawn illustrations (me).

Nursing cover and curtains.

Lesson 4: There is no point making a nursing cover if you forget to use a fabric that isn’t sheer. The one above is version two.

Something old, something new, something borrowed….and a frame not yet filled. You can call me a pack rat if you want, but I think it’s pretty cool that I have a couple of my old toys to put in the nursery plus a few of Robbie’s.

Lesson 4: Husbands can pretend they don’t care about baby clothes but leave them on their own and they will often pick out some of the cutest darn things you’ve ever seen.

Toby got these mix and match shoes for me (well, baby) for my birthday.