The Biggest Cry Baby

The Biggest Cry Baby

biking

Biking - somewhere between a dump, a slag heap and a stagnant lake.

Another week down. Another week closer to our first race.

Last night at the gym, I was just starting to run when I glanced to the left and saw The Biggest Loser playing on a TV at the end of the room. I immediately unplugged my headphones and scurried down the row to grab a treadmill that lined up better with this TV. As I hoped, this show inspired me to push myself harder. I decided I would run hard as long as the show was on and then slow to a brisk walk during commercial breaks. The show is an hour long, so I ended up running twice as long as I had planned.

The 350 pound man that won the mile long challenge ran it in 14:40. So of course, I had to be able to do better than him! Next scene, Jillian is screaming at them to get back on the  #*$^$*#ing treadmill.  Then the other trainer screams “You know why you can’t quit? Because you weigh 460 pounds! Get back to work!”

Ok, so I don’t weigh 460 pounds or even half that – but it’s easy to tell myself “I’ve done enough today” when I get a little bored.  Watching how hard these people struggled gave me the extra push I needed to work harder. After all, I wasn’t anywhere close to a jiggling heap of tear-stained moosh on the gym floor and my goal is still months away.

There is just one problem. It’s hard to run when you’re trying not to cry and your throat closes down and you can’t breathe. It’s also a little embarrassing when you’re running and your breathing starts sounding like you’re sucking air through a harmonica. People are bound to come ask if you’re having a heart attack if you don’t get it together, pronto.

Crying? Me? Over a dumb TV show? I know, trust me. I know. Toby will make tons of fun of me when he reads this.

But here’s the deal. There is one contestant whose story really gets to me. Her name is Abby and two years ago she lost her husband, daughter and newborn baby in a car accident. Her whole family, gone in an instant. I just can’t stop asking myself, “how does this woman even get out of bed in the morning?”

This is far and away my biggest fear. This thought crosses my mind every time Toby and Robbie drive away without me. My whole world, every thing on earth that matters most to me, hurtling down the freeway at 75 miles an hour. I don’t think men have these thoughts. They’re too busy thinking about sex every seven seconds. But women do. It’s a “mom thing” and I’m confident I’m not alone here.

I’m not normally an emotional person. I’m not normally a big fan of TV, let alone reality TV. I don’t follow celebrities and I can only be counted on to know who’s in the finals on American Idol once every third season or so. But I think I’ll be watching this series every Tuesday this season – and pulling for one contestant in particular. She must be a fighter.

* We biked the frontage road from the Great Salt Lake Marina to the SLC Airport. If you haven’t done that, let me just say this; it offers a complex bouquet of aromas I guarantee you’ve never smelled before. And will never want to smell again. In spite of the stench, it was a very good ride because we didn’t have to fight traffic and we could ride without obstacles for 25 miles.

  • avatar image
    Jenny
    September 16th, 2009 at 12:03 pm

    Holly you’re not alone! The Biggest Loser makes me cry every single episode. I just can’t help it!

    Reply
    • avatar image
      Holly
      September 16th, 2009 at 12:10 pm

      I feel horrible for the contestants – but I can usually keep it together in public 😉

      Reply
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    Sharon Briggs
    September 16th, 2009 at 12:26 pm

    Holly – You are definately not alone in fearing something bad might happen to your whole family. I have that fear everytime I am seperated from Shannon & the kids – which fortunately isn’t very often. I probably wouldn’t get out of bed for a LONG TIME in that situation. I LOVE the Biggest Loser! I didn’t get to watch it last night but I did record it and I will be watching it before the day is over.

    Reply
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      Holly
      September 16th, 2009 at 12:35 pm

      I’ve only caught a few episodes in the past but I am excited to have gotten in at the beginning during this “fitness goal” time of my life. I think it will help keep me focused as we come out of summer and into cruddy weather.

      Reply
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    Ronda Rae
    September 16th, 2009 at 12:54 pm

    I, too, am a worrier. When people travel the freeway, when they fly, when I fly, I just can’t help but worry! My mom gets it, my boyfriend doesn’t understand it at all!

    How long is your race?

    Reply
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      Holly
      September 16th, 2009 at 1:09 pm

      We are doing a 5k. The next goal is a 10k by spring and a half marathon by July 4 – which puts us one year from when we started this. We have rewards for these goals too. The half marathon reward is a tropical vacation. Do you have rewards for your 5k goals?

      Reply
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        Ronda Rae
        September 16th, 2009 at 3:29 pm

        I never thought of giving myself a reward! At this point being able to cross a finish line will be reward enough…. although I guess doing my race through Disney World – I’ll be rewarded with a Disney World vacation!

        Reply
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          Holly
          September 16th, 2009 at 3:42 pm

          Ronda, I get your point about Disney World! But can your really ever have too much motivation?

          Reply
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    Dee
    September 16th, 2009 at 1:07 pm

    You are NOT alone. I was on the elliptical last night at home when this came on, and though I’ve never before watched it, I decided to last night. I was blubbering like a baby before I knew it – and am pulling for the very same contestant you are. It definitely gave me extra motivation as well, watching these people fight as they were.

    I have the very same fears you do, and asked the very same question about this woman you did – I truly think she deserves to do this for herself, and to win. Such heartbreak!

    -Dee

    Reply
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      Holly
      September 16th, 2009 at 1:12 pm

      I think it will also be motivating watching their transformation. Don’t forget to take lots of before/after pictures!

      Reply
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        Dee
        September 16th, 2009 at 5:13 pm

        I agree – the transformations from previous shows have been just incredible!

        I actually keep forgetting to take ‘before’ pictures. I’ve already lost 16 pounds, but maybe I’ll ask my husband to take a few this week for me for future reference of further weight loss.

        Reply
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    highlyirritable
    September 16th, 2009 at 1:17 pm

    Holly, I so cried with you! It was an awesome episode and hopefully a great season lies ahead. That poor woman whose children and husband died. Like you, I think I’d just go to bed and NEVER get up again.

    Reply
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      Holly
      September 16th, 2009 at 3:43 pm

      Totally agree. I’m glad I’m not the only one that got sucked into that tear-jerker!

      Reply
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    Kim Sue Ellen
    September 16th, 2009 at 4:06 pm

    TBL makes me bawl, been watching it every season. WAS SO BUMMED I missed it last night. I can’t wait to catch up on it. The first season it was out I lost 30 lbs. Hoping to be inspired by that again.

    Love you…thank you for your kind words today, you are in my thoughts, and YES there are TONS more pros than cons…even I need a reminder once in a while.

    Reply
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    michelle
    September 16th, 2009 at 8:36 pm

    That’s one of my greatest fears, having something happening to my kids or Jer or on the other side of the coin, something happening to me and leaving my kids without a mom. I think that’s why I stress so much and end up getting sick when I leave them or they leave me. I know you shouldn’t think the worst and it borders on paranoia, but sometimes it’s something that just can’t be helped… Oh and by the way there have been several past season TBL’s that I have made me cry like a baby.

    Reply

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